Sigh......Weee......

i am just so bored.......

Felt like there is so much to study, yet i have no more depolarisation to achieve an action potential for studying anymore. My mood.....has long flew away.....maybe,i should just let it be, and die in exam hall

Felt sad these few days. My cousins called my mother, just a plain sincere wish of Happy New Year to her and update her about some of the news in my far away hometown. Then, without considering how i would feel, my mother told everything,about them having party....about which cousin's new born son is big size....about which cousin's son is so small.......etc etc. All these, i know, my mother is just trying to update me.........not to left me out from the world outside......yet, i felt bitter in my heart, i felt guilty....and i felt sad. I would rather they don't call.....i would rather my mother keep all those news to herself and not tell me......i would rather i close up myself whole day from the outside world....then knowing all these...and felt lonely.

For N times, i had been calling IMU and Dr. Thani stupid fellow for putting the exams right after CNY, no, to be accurate, during CNY period ( still 5th day mah ). But for Nth times also, i praise IMU and Dr Thani for letting me get used to this before i suffer bitterly and lonely in overseas....which might happen next year or year after next. I am just contradicting, i know.......but i can't help it.

Lonely and lonely. 1st 2 days was fun here, i can sleep till late afternoon in my dear aircon room, play games till late night, watch movie from the 42inch TV and not having anyone sitting around me bothering me and walking past me and talking to me. Yet......i felt lonely. CNY wasn't like this all these while. CNY is full of laughter, joy and noise not to say alcohol and card games ( so call " games " la...but...in fact....its....*u know la * ). But this CNY, non of that, except books and books and books....opps, should i say notes and notes and notes....plus 2 past year questions books?

Pathetic...........felt so sad till i went to play Beethoven's <<>>.....play till my mood is so down.......and my fingers refuse to play anymore only i come back for past year questions.

Been very not productive these few days....mainly no mood..............seeing other people, laughing and chatting....seeing my neighbours leaving this neighbourhood back to the sweet hometown.....i am seriously so down.

Felt more and more guilty when each day passes by. Mother and Father refuse to go out and have a walk ( there is a temple hear say is very nice ), they wanted to stay at home although they had been doing so for the 4th day. I don't know whats the motive behind that.......to accompany me? no need la....i have books with me......the security is bad? aiyo...go out few hours only mah....nothing will happen la...if happen...then its my fate lo...i no need go exams adi...how nice? haha......don't know la, the more they don't want to go out, the more i felt guilty. I make them stay here....make they leave all the joy and laughter in hometown. Moreover, i felt my dead grandmother's grave lonely ( usually CNY my family would go there....pray with lots of dishes...but i bet this year her grave would be the loneliest. )

Sigh for the above....

And Wee.for the below....

Exams is finally here....i can't wait to be chop down by thani's crazy questions....then i am off to holidays !!

Work Hard everyone !!