Hyper

I feel like writing...
Yet i don't know what to write..

My brain is hyperactivity
Yet i don't know what im thinking off

I am in such a dilemma.

For the 1st time,
the happiness of me getting Aberdeen has finally been wiped off
I feel the sadness
I feel the anxiety
And i can even feel the Denial state in my brain
If it is not BS lecture keep running in my head
"1st emotion for patient and family member is DENIAL"
I would have gone into the protective Denial state now


I regretted.
Why i never took a photo with him when he was well
When he still can takes photo with us
When i has the chance...
esp when we took him back all the way from China
He was well by then...
It would be such GREAT memories now,
IF i had taken the photo.

Tonight
Is going to be a sleepless night
For my family.
Dad would be drinking till morning
Mum would be thinking non stop in hosp
And
I, would be in guilt + Regret for whole night

Ignore me...
If i not able to concentrate in lecture tmr...
I will be fine soon.
I need some time to think it all over
To make myself
LEARN that I AM NEVER TO ANGRY AND HATE someone
Cuz when one day
They gona Die
I will regret and live in GUILT.

I really need to learn