Disappointed

I don't know whats gone into my dad's mind. He wants to bring my grandpa back all the way from SP to KL.

Oh, i forgotten that i didn't let u all see how my grandpa looks like now. give me a minute!

THis is how my grandpa looks like....
on 27th March, right after my birthday





And Now, taken last Sunday.








My dad called just now, told my mum that he cried while he was driving. He really cannot make it by leaving my grandpa there in SP when my grandpa thought he is still in KL. I don't know what is the significant of my grandpa being disoriented with time and place that my dad has to be so taken into heart and insist that to bring my grandpa back.

What about me? What about my mum? Has he asked us whether we are willing to take him? Has he asked us whether we want to bring him back? has he asked us whether we want to take k of grandpa? Dad will be going to JB working....while WE , my mum and I....are the one going to sufferm take k of the old man, not to say the poor old man, being carried so far away from Kedah to KL.

Waste money, waste effort. I really think my dad is being so stupid right now. Why must he think so deeply and get so taken up by his stupid idiotic mind? Is that the best for my grandpa? Or he wants to kill my grandpa and ends everything? I think the last would match his intention better although subconciously, he didn't know what will happen after his stupid idiotic decision.

Imagine, the poor old man...who suffers even just by lifting him up to feed him and change his diapers......suffers, pant, sweat and feels horrible...........has a son who wants to bring him back...just because his son take his disorientated mind so deep into heart. And...just because, his son......wants to give him a buddhist funeral and couldn't believe his own daughter aka the son's sister.....cannot believe the promised made by her that after the Christian Funeral, she would give us the ashes. He couldn't believe her....so now, he must torture his own dad.

Very good. Extremely Good. Bravo!! I wonder what grandpa did to you, dad, in past life that you HAVE to INSIST on torturing him in this life....esp when he is dying soon.

and, what did i do in past life, that you HAVE to torture me as well?
I said, if he is back, i will be out. I have no time to take k of grandpa and u AGREED with me. You said i am to concentrate on exams, the rest, will be settled by mum and you. You asshead talk crap la, u will be leaving poor mum alone doing all the nasty job and you will be free and easy in JB working. You have a free mind, free heart then.....you did what you WANT to do. But mum and i? Have to suffer!!! What kind of father are you?

Mum told me just now, i am to shift out from the house if i cannot tahan. Oh yes...i will shift out....good. Now the daughter, who has no surviving skills...who has no one else to depend on, has to move out to make way for the old man when he is resting well...and doing quite well in his own daughter's house. GOod for you, mum and dad. I hate you all. I had you too, grandpa. You thought i don't want to move out? I would....if there is someone to rent me a room in Vista for just 2 months. I would go as far as possible. I wouldn't want to stay with u all, such selfish person.

Oh, and thanx to you too, the hateful, stupid , foolish, brainless, pig brain, selfish, idiotic (no im not going to cancel the idiotic word) aunt....thanx for making my life such a mess.....thanx for creating all the problems. What induce you to pull poor old man into christianity? Jesus Christ? Oh good.................i hope he can settle everything right now. I hope he can bring back my peaceful life no matter what he do.........

Has anyone think about me? ME? THe daughter of the family?? ME?? ME?? ME?? If you never want to think of me...why give birth to me at the 1st place? you should have aborted me when you know that yyou got pregnant and you had been taking so many drugs. Then everything will be CLEAN and easy. I don't need to suffer, and you don't need to think where to move me out. I AM LEAVING M'SIA SOON. Has anyone think what if i got TB from the old man and the country just push me out of the way?? What is going to happen to my future? Has anyone THINK for me??? My future? The old man is going to live for another 1yr to the max....but me...i am only 20 this year, i have at least 50yrs more to go, has anyone think of my future? Whats the point of me working so hard...........just to get out from the country?? POINTLESS!!! I DON"T SEE WHY SHOULD I PASS EOS 5 now.

I HATE EVERYONE!! I HATE YOU, DAD. I HATE YOU SINCE I WAS YOUNG, Grandpa, for not liking me, for biasm, for not ever having me in ur eyes and for creating this BIG problem and push my life into disaster now. You think i am going to help find an ambulans to shift you from SP? No way...you wait la. I am not going to DO ANYTHING FOR YOU ANYMORE!!! NO MORE. I HAD GIVEN TOO MUCH TO YOU.....AND IM GOING TO STOP BEING SO STUPID. I HATE YOU, STUPID AUNT. No, not aunt....BUT OBASAN. WHy do i have to suffer all this? What harm had i done to you all??

Great...i should go find a room for myself to spend in the next 2 months. Anyone fancy taking me up? sighz