Tired ~

Today, was really a tired day, seriously, maybe due to the lack of sleep im having, or maybe due to the guilt i had right after the case study this morning that make me pushed myself as much as i could and study right after lecture without having any lunch.

This morning, i woke up very reluctantly, since i slept at around 1.30am yesterday night? no, should say this morning and my alarm gave me a big fright at 7am, haha, i jumped out of bed when the alarm went off. Seriously speaking, if im not having my mock OSCE ( an exam on clinical skills to those who don't know ) next tuesday, i think i will just sms chen yi and told her that im not going for the practice today. But, since the stupid exams is next week, and this might be the last practice i will have before going in for exams...and yes, im still not very good in physical examinations, that i forced myself out from bed even though i felt slight headache and dizziness.

Anyway, the weather was pretty good...good as in good to sleep...haha...which made me felt like doozing to sleep while i was driving, But, i made it to IMU, met up with my mates and went into the room to practice. After the practice session, i was glad that i went, since from the practice, i have more confident compared to last thursday practice. I realised that i learned a lot last week and my skills were comparatively better. So, with this good feeling, i went to the case study at around 10.30am.

I really don't know how to describe my feelings towards that lecture, hatred? guilty? or lucky? Haha. I felt so mixed that my headache got worst during the lecture. Out of the 8 questions given by Dr. Thani, i can only figure out...urm, say, 1-2? haha. If i do that in exams, i can tell you, i won't be in IMU next year. Sigh. I love heamatology system yet i don't know what happened to me that caused the blankness in my brain during that lecture, was it because i was having a headache + lack of sleep that made me can't think or was it because i really don't study enough? Sigh.I guess, for the next 4 days, although it is said in the timetable that i will be having holidays, i don't think im going to take it as holidays, i may as well take this opportunity to brush up my Haematology. Sigh Sigh. What a disaster. Gastrointestinal system is coming next week and after 6 weeks of GI, i would have my summative exams yet i still cannot answer the questions in case study....

With that mixed feelings, i went to the library straight after lecture. There was no one there except Jane June although usually at that time, there should be full of the semester 5 seniors...hehe. She was busy flipping through her notes for her mock osce later and i didn't want to disturb her. So, i took a seat next to her and started to re-read my notes but realised 15 minutes later that i do not know what i was studying. Imagine, i had been reading the same page for 15 minutes repeatedly yet i do not know what the notes is talking about. Sigh. Worst still, maybe is the guiltiness that grew stronger, i started to feel nausea, sore throat and fever. From headache, im proceeding to flu like symptoms..." very good " ( trying to sound sarcastic )

Anyhow, i tried to relax my mind and went for a walk in the library, when i got back, Jane June approached me and asked my to revise Clinical Skills with her, so i did and somehow, my mind went back to normal and i started studying again. Haha. Weird brain.

Study and study and study....the whole day was spent studying and when i got home at around 4pm for my lunch, i was feeling very weak, fatigue and sleepy. Sigh, after a light lunch, i dropped dead on the sofa and was fast asleep until.....7PM !! haha. And i woke up because i heard the drama which my mum was madly watching right now.

Not feeling very well now, still fatigue myalgia and no appetite at all...worst, the sore throat still persist and if there is any sickness that i fear in this world, that would be sore throat since the bacteria who attack my throat was a " super bacteria " according to my panel doctor who don't leave my throat until it has enough fun making my throat swell like pig head and causing me fever. Seriously, usually when i have sore throat, i couldn't sleep few nights...thats why im extremely careful with my throat. Please, bacteria, just leave me alone for once !! sigh !!