Fights Again ~

Sigh, i wonder how many times should i fight with my mother.....hmm.....no i shud say, for how many more years should i fight with my mum EVERY DAY ?? It is actually very sad for me to fight with my mum. I do feel bad after fighting with her, but im not going to say sorry coz its not my fault at all.

Well, that cat is out of the bag now.My mum finally knows about the Wenedsday's Karaokae Session is just to be a 50 Watt light bulb between some ppl.My mum was so angry just now, all she said was :" why do u need to be so sampat ?? Ppl is in relationship, so u just stand aside, why bother about ppl ?? Let them be.....they can't sing when there is only 2 of them....then they don't need to sing.Its either they sing or waste money.Why in the world shud you waste money to sing with them just to accompany them ??? They ASKED you to go....yet they don't pay for you....why u go....and more over, its to be light bulb and nothing else........" Sigh ~ Money matters again. Actually, i wanted to go since i pity See Teng. It will be more weird for 3 of them to sing and teng really won't sing if there is only 3 of them.I know that would happen. AND, i know Teng wanted me to go with her.....she didn't tell me about that, but somehow, i feel that she wanted me to teman her to be light bulb....sigh ~ I just wondering.....shudn't 2 ppl in relationship will want to have their own privacy...their own time where they can spend time together ?? why in the world shud they asked us out instead ?? Never mind, lucky me that i told my mum im going to IMU that day too, for the ECA recruitment drive....and she said nothing about objecting me going on Wenedsday even i have no class that day !!

Next fighting topic is my ballet.I told her again and again, since Form 3 that i wanted to do ballet. Let me list out the reasons she used to excuse me from learning ballet. Form 3 : have PMR, concentrate on PMR, if you get 8 As, i will let you learn in Form4 .I got 8As...and what i have ?? Harry Potter Books...thats all...its so diff from what she promised me. Form 4 : just come up from Form3, settle down 1st and if you have time, i will let you learn back. I did settle down, and i did have time, but her promised was never fufil.Form 5 : SPM is much more important than ur stupid ballet.Concentrate on SPM, its the paper which will judge ur whole life.Talk about it after ur SPM. 1st yr of A lvls : Just come up from high school, settle down 1st, if you have more time...i will let you.....End of 1st yr : Come on, you can learn if you study in M'sia's uni.....or else, you go overseas, the ballet there is much better than M'sia's ....more ORIGINAL. 2nd Yr of A lvls ( early this yr ) : Must concentrate on A2.....or else u can't enter Med uni.....work harder if you have time...why think about ballet now ??? I gave you piano and its better for stress -reliving than stupid Ballet......if you enter IMU, i let you learn. NOW ~~~~~ Go for something else.....ballet is no use at all......no doctor will have time to dance ballet....and you won't have time later to learn also....coz u will have all the exams coming on.......why not try yoga ??? i let you learn yoga la...its the same. Doreen ( flaring up adi ) :" Its NOT THE SAME !!!! I asked you at 1st that i wanted yoga...and you said NO.....now you spoiled all my mood for yoga and i want my BALLET BACK !!! AND you told me to go back for YOGA !!!! Whats Wrong with you and DAD......you 2 are LIER !!! Never EVER fulfil ur promised...keep pushing me from Years to years.......Why can't i just have ballet ?? i reli hate you all !! "

Sigh...thats what happened just now...i actually told them the reasons they told me from Form3 and i wonder will they actually think about it.But i guess, my chance of ballet is gone...coz my mum was telling my cousin about how good her yoga teacher was .....how she can do splits perfectly....ho she used to trained when she danced...blah blah.If she is thinking of letting me to learn...she will not talk this type of crap infront of me.Seriously, sometimes i really hate them.....and real angry with them.They want me to study, i studied and do as good as i can for them.Make them proud...make them got praises from all the stupid " pat poh " relatives who will just come and say :" aiyo...doreen ar...you are so Clever...sure can be a big doc...next time ur mummy dadddy will be very rich lo...u doc , bro also doc...why u so smart....bro not so smart ?? thats why la...mrs. saw ( my mum )......i say daughter is much better rite ??? " Hmph...they got the fame where i worked hard like a donkey.....and i just want a little things....they just don't even want to give me....i reli....dunnoe what to say about them.NO GAS !!!! " Kek Si mEEEEE ar !!!!!! " " kek Sei ngor la ~~~~~ " issssssshhhhhhh ~

ballet life span is actually very short....if im not continuting now...the chances of me getting back into ballet again next time would be even smaller. They are the one introducing me into ballet.....but now...pulling me out from there again.I wonder do they ever think about my feeling.My sadness and regret when i saw other girls...even though younger than me...in their ballet suit, ballet shoes...walking on the street....wearing the skirt i once used to wear.....do they ever know that when i saw that, my heart is bleeding ?? why can't they just understand !!! Sigh ~ Yoga...i reli dun have any interest in it already.Sorry teng.......my main aim of doing yoga ( even if i DO take up Yoga class ) would be to keep my body flexible so that i have more chance of learning back my ballet when im older...when i can pay my own fees. Sigh Sigh ~ I seriously want ballet !! Can any one offer me ballet class in IMU ??? i want ballet !! i want ballet shoes !!

Talk about ballet, im currently doing some ballet exercise to make myself slimer.Lolz ~ Yea...im dieting. I still feel my self a bit plump.....so, im doing all those ballet techniques...and seriously...its a very tough job to my muscles....ouch !!! real pain !! But...i will not give up !!! I will do until i can do a perfect split !! wahahaha ~ And im reaching adi !! going to catch that soon !! yay yay

Alright...no mood at all to write anything.Tmr PBL...dunnoe why, i just feel super Sien ~~ PBL AGAIN ??? Sigh....just spare me pls !! i wanna study in the Library !! waahahahah ~

Well, chaoz ~ have a nice day tmr ~~

-ichigo -